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A racoon that was chosen for its superb bit part in the Great outdoors with John Candy and its opposable thumbs.
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I was nursed into this world by a non binary racoon. I was dragged up on the urban bonfire of East Anglia surrounded by burning Ford Transit vans and the smoldering embers of burning Poll tax signs. In accordance with Starfleet Order 2: Starfleet regulation against the taking of intelligent life I was brought into this world in the late 1970’s. Emerging stumbling into the light from the background of this primordial sludge was an otherwise unremarkable ape eventually named Reegs. A cocktail of water, methane, ammonia and hydrogen sulphide gases reacts with electrical energy to produce a steaming broth of amino acids, fatty acids, sugars and other miscellaneous organic compounds this was probably not as tasty as it sounds. In 3 minutes, 98% of the matter that there is or ever will be has been produced.įast forward a few billion years to an unassuming galaxy and to a small blue planet in orbit eight light-minutes from a star. The temperature was a little over 10 billion degrees, which is why the fleece was not invented until many years afterwards.
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After just a minute it had grown to a million billion miles across and was expanding fast, consisting of about 75% hydrogen, 23% helium and a sprinkling of lithium and deuterium. Straw Man Attacks On Christianity For Some Reasonsġ4 billion years ago (give or take a few days) the universe was created from a singularity in a violent explosion of space, time and gravity.